Not all parents agree whether to spank their children or place them in timeout following an unwanted behavior. An argument could certainly be made for both sides and when parents do not agree it makes consistency of discipline a confusing problem.
When raising a child an important aspect to understand is that a child needs structure and consistency within their daily activities. More specifically they will need expectations. Begin with a short list posted on the fridge noting intolerable behaviors. Some basic examples are no hitting, biting, kicking, or ugly words. Sit down with the child and read them together and ask them to repeat each one back to you. This will offer partnership and a sense of accountability. Next, explain to the child that these behaviors will not be tolerated and the consequence for participating in one of these behaviors will be either a timeout or spanking based on your personal preference. The key is not in which method you adopt but in administering the method consistently. The strongest reinforcer is an intermittent one; so when you are inconsistent you are only serving to encourage that behavior.
Not all sins are created equal and neither are all unwanted behaviors. Define what constitutes a verbal warning and what requires an immediate response. It is critical to act and not just to react to a situation as acting requires thought and reacting is not. A good rule of thumb is to subscribe to the theory that the more the child is engaged in activities the less bad behaviors you will need to deal with. To make engagement a little easier to understand a vague definition might be useful. Engaging a child in activities loosely means to provide opportunities to get them involved and focused on the actions involved in the activity. Some age appropriate examples include; water painting, play dough, cutting with child safe scissors, coloring, planting a garden, and adopting a small pet. These are all activities that will engage the child and remember the busier they are the quieter they are.
The Web provides an abundance of ideas for inexpensive activities to keep the child engaged. Think about making learning exercising into games. Tape pictures of a lemon, a cherry, an apple, and a balloon on the wall. Then placed small squares of colors in a glass bowl. Ask each child to pick an object and which color it should be. Ask them to tape it to the picture.
The Web provides an abundance of ideas for inexpensive activities to keep the child engaged. Think about making learning exercising into games. Tape pictures of a lemon, a cherry, an apple, and a balloon on the wall. Then placed small squares of colors in a glass bowl. Ask each child to pick an object and which color it should be. Ask them to tape it to the picture.
A child is never too young to learn about responsibility as this will serve to instill pride of ownership. It is important to provide for a means of succeeding as well as failing. Whether the child succeeds your expectation or whether they fail it is a crucial opportunity to help them process their feelings and emotions. If you only secure opportunities for a successful endeavor the child will not learn how to act appropriately when they do eventually fail at something. You are not doing your child any favors by not realistically preparing them for adulthood.
Set parameters by designating chores for an additional opportunity for engagement. This also allows for one on one dedicated time where the child has your full attention which is often underutilized. If you would ask your child what they like most, they would likely say spending time with you. The household chores still need to be done amidst the chaos. Enlist their help, give the child a soft towel and say let us dust the furniture because we love a clean house. You just might be surprised to realize that helping others is a welcome change in pace. You might even ask them to teach you how to dust as it increases the feeling of ownership and sense of accomplishment.